If you know me at all, you'll know I'm a bit of a hopeless romantic. Hopeless not because I think romance doesn't exist, but because I don't think a 6'2'', brunette man with a five o'clock shadow who loves Jesus more than anything in His life is going to come riding up to me on a beautiful white stallion as the gorgeous Iowa sun sets behind Him, sweep me away, and carry me off to happily ever after. It simply doesn't happen. I mean, in storybooks, dreams, and fairytales, YES. That sort of craziness happens all the time.
But I'm still a fan of romance. Chic flicks have always been my favorite. I was dreaming of wedding dresses long before I was dreaming of boys. I hated it when my dad yelled "MUSH!" at the screen during any kiss because I thought they were beautiful. For the longest time, I wanted to be a wedding planner so that I could make that special day extra special for everyone. After that dream fell through, photography became my passion because I wanted to catch all the beautiful moments involved in any part of love stories. Today, well, I just spent six weeks teaching English in China, and although I did teach my kids about weddings and even help them dress one another in toilet paper wedding dresses, I don't know that my future will involve as hands-on involvement in weddings as I'd originally hoped.
Still, in the disappointment of that shattered dream, I'm finding a beauty in the lessons God's able to show me and teach me through it. This struck me tonight as I listened to a favorite song by Phil Wickham. Here are a few of my favorite lines:
I see your face in every sunrise; the colors of the morning are inside your eyes.
I look up to the skies and sing; You're beautiful.
Soon we will be coming Home; You're beautiful.
When we arrive at eternity's shore, where death is just a memory and tears are no more
We lift you up as the wedding bells play; Your Bride will come together and we'll sing--You're beautiful.
I'm not a fan of that "Jesus is my boyfriend" or "I don't need you, someone who loves me already died for me" craze where hundreds of college-aged girls are swearing off boys because Jesus is the "only boy I'll ever need." Although there might be some good original intentions to that, the idea as a whole is crazy talk.
However, as a single girl, it's rough to see friends falling in love, getting engaged, married, and beginning families when none of that is anywhere in sight in my own life. I love to dream about the man who will one day love me so incredibly much more than any past boyfriend or friend has and will treat me like the beautiful daughter of God He sees me as because He knows it brings glory to our Heavenly Father. I'm pumped for that, but I also know that God's got some pretty awesome timing in His plans for my life. So if today's not the day I'm going to meet a brother I might spend the rest of my life, who cares? Every day is created for me to serve God and love God because He loves me so incredibly much, sent His Son to die for me, and demands it of me.
So between that song and the "He is jealous for me...Oh how He loves me..." song, I don't know how I'll ever be able to run from God's love again. He loves me deeper, wider, and stronger than my parents ever will. He loves me more than my brothers, my friends, my grandparents, and yes, more than even that knight in shining armor who will one day appear ever will be able to... no matter how hard he tries :) God's love will always be there. It will never fail, leave me, or forsake me in any way. It is eternal, everlasting, and unchangeable.
What a great God we serve!
Thanks for sharing these feelings that are likely very prominent for college-aged females (and males). I remember the very same feelings during most of my 20s. But I did get married to a wonderful friend when I was 29. Our timing is not the same as God's, and He does expect us to trust Him. So STAND FIRM!
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