There are a lot of different things I look forward to in the summer: sun, swimming, sleeping in, reading non-academically, catching up with old friends, vacation, the list goes on... As soon as the weather gets nice, I also love bonfires. Something about sitting and chatting with friends in the dark around a fire pit filled with glowing embers and fierce flames on a humid, breezy night with incredibly sticky fingers due to the eating of a good ol' smore brings relaxation and peace to a usually busy life. There's usually plenty of laughter, reminiscing, and marshmallows.
Last night, I headed to Orange City for the first bonfire of the summer with some friends from high school. One of the girls was headed to Mexico for most of the summer and goes to Pella for college during the year, so she invited a bunch of people over to say a quick "hello" and "goodbye" for the summer. Only four girls besides the host ended up showing up, but the intimate size of the group made it easy to swap stories of college life back-and-forth.
The conversations started out lightly.. "What's your major?," "Who's your roommate?," "Do you like it there?," etc... Soon, however, one of the girls started sharing stories from the clubs and bars and asked us each if we had drank before. I truthfully answered, no, and was surprised when one of my best friends from high school nodded her head, yes. I didn't press for details or ask how often she drank, but shock was definitely there.
From there, the quality of the conversations took a fast, downhill slide. Topics ranged from hottest guys and most awkward hook-ups to drunkest nights and dirtiest dances. Needless to say, I didn't have much to add to most of the conversations. Most of my participation was laughter and questioning. Questioning, because I didn't understand many of the clubbing lingo and dirty slang some of the girls were using, and laughter, because some of the stories were simply funny.
The part of the night that frustrated me most were the thoughts running through my head almost constantly. "Say something. Call them out. Ask they why?" Thoughts like these filled my mind. As Christians, we're called to be witnesses and testify to God's name. Sitting back and laughing at the stories, while not acting on my conviction to say something about the sinful lives my friends had chosen to participate in.
As I drove home that night, I was frustrated with myself for not saying something, but I was also frustrated with my friends for their dumb decisions. I tried to think of harm that could have come to me if I would have said something. Sure, I may have lost the respect of a few old friends... friends whose respect I didn't really honor anymore due to their poor life decision-making. I might have been made fun of... but my blonde moments cause me to be made fun of all the time, so that's nothing new. I concluded that there really wasn't anything dangerous about speaking up. ERROR NUMBER TWO.
Why did I even worry about the harm that could come from speaking up? God calls us to dedicate our entire lives to him. He asks us to surrender all. To serve only one master--Him. Joshua 24:15 tells Christians to "choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve," and I agree with the second part... "As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord."
Now, I don't mean to say that my friends are the most awful, terrible people in the world. Because, well, we're all awful, terrible sinners saved only by God's grace. I do want to share a convicting lesson I learned... serving God means serving Him radically, in EVERY aspect of life.
Wednesday, May 25, 2011
Sunday, May 22, 2011
Emma, old hymns, and new lessons
A few posts back, I wrote about a little girl named Emma who had given Dad a thank you for being her pastor. Well, this morning Emma influenced me yet again during church. Emma's in middle school, so she's a member of the Junior Choir at church. This morning, the choir sang for special music. Emma and three other girls sang an opening song and later sang two more variations of Amazing Grace right before the sermon.
Emma is well-known at church for her very loud singing voice. The blonde-haired, blue-eyed, girl belts out every word of the hymns like it's the final note in the Hallelujah Chorus. Naturally, singing in front of the church is the same. With three other soft, airy singers, Emma's rougher, much louder voice carried. She sang the words to a doctrine-heavy song and the beloved hymn variations with a passion that stunned me. The congregation had just finished singing one of the morning hymns, which I had half-sung while jumping around between alto and soprano, in a methodical manner, singing the words without considering meaning. Emma's singing made me value each line in both the first, unfamiliar song, and the classic hymn.
Emma's intensity convicted me for my own struggles with robot-like worship. There have been too many sermons, hymns, and responsive readings that I've sat, sung, and read through without much engagement. Sometimes, I have even sat through entire services thinking about my afternoon or week plans. I will walk out of the church building neither reflecting on nor recalling anything talked about in the Lord's temple.
As Christians, we are required to set apart ONE day to be entirely devoted to God. Now, of course, all of our lives--so, every day--ought to be devoted to God through work, play, rest, etc... However, ONE day is required as a day of rest..a sabbath to the Lord our God. Sometimes only a couple hours of that day are even dedicated to God, while at church in the morning and evening. And yet, I don't even engage in those couple hours.
Emma's passionate engagement in worshiping her Savior reminded me of the ultimate goal of living: to glorify God and to enjoy Him forever.
So, a lesson from me, a constantly convicted sinner saved only by the grace of God: Truly engaging in the worship of our Lord and Creator is indeed a Christian act required of us in order to glorify and enjoy our Father as He has created and commanded us to do.
Emma is well-known at church for her very loud singing voice. The blonde-haired, blue-eyed, girl belts out every word of the hymns like it's the final note in the Hallelujah Chorus. Naturally, singing in front of the church is the same. With three other soft, airy singers, Emma's rougher, much louder voice carried. She sang the words to a doctrine-heavy song and the beloved hymn variations with a passion that stunned me. The congregation had just finished singing one of the morning hymns, which I had half-sung while jumping around between alto and soprano, in a methodical manner, singing the words without considering meaning. Emma's singing made me value each line in both the first, unfamiliar song, and the classic hymn.
Emma's intensity convicted me for my own struggles with robot-like worship. There have been too many sermons, hymns, and responsive readings that I've sat, sung, and read through without much engagement. Sometimes, I have even sat through entire services thinking about my afternoon or week plans. I will walk out of the church building neither reflecting on nor recalling anything talked about in the Lord's temple.
As Christians, we are required to set apart ONE day to be entirely devoted to God. Now, of course, all of our lives--so, every day--ought to be devoted to God through work, play, rest, etc... However, ONE day is required as a day of rest..a sabbath to the Lord our God. Sometimes only a couple hours of that day are even dedicated to God, while at church in the morning and evening. And yet, I don't even engage in those couple hours.
Emma's passionate engagement in worshiping her Savior reminded me of the ultimate goal of living: to glorify God and to enjoy Him forever.
So, a lesson from me, a constantly convicted sinner saved only by the grace of God: Truly engaging in the worship of our Lord and Creator is indeed a Christian act required of us in order to glorify and enjoy our Father as He has created and commanded us to do.
Thursday, May 19, 2011
I'm too bored to blog.
This summer has been realllllly slow.
Okay, so maybe it doesn't help when your summer job doesn't start until the second week of June, half your family is still in school, and your boyfriend is nine zillion miles away, but still. I feel like June should be halfway gone and it's barely pushing mid-May. I'm never going to get used to this college-kids-being-done-crazy-early-compared-to-the-rest-of-the-world thing.
Well, anyways. I kind of forgot all about the blogging world until I was reminded of it earlier tonight thanks to Trevor's paper-writing claim to fame. But hey, Trevor, I've already written one this summer (don't ask why), so I think we're tied now. Anyway, I've spent my summer making lots of progress and doing lots of lazy things...causing me to be way too busy being bored to blog.
I started the summer off pretty well. After the first couple days of waking up at noon and going to bed at 2, I decided to be a little more wise mature. I started waking up at 9 and going to bed at 2. I spent every waking minute cleaning and organizing and unpacking and repacking and washing and sorting and throwing and basically sorting through my entire life. The memories were great and terrible and awesome and sad all at once. It was a real emotional rollercoaster every now and then. To show for all my work, I now have the most organized room you will ever see. Every single picture I have is filed away in an album. Every single clothing item I own is hung or folded and stored away neatly (and by color!). Believe it or not, I even spent time sorting my hairties out today. Yes, sometimes I can be a little Type A when it comes to organization. In addition to the neatness, there's this massive pile of clothes and shoes and trashy/cheesy chic flicks and random objects that I'm planning on getting rid of later this summer.
Life reorganized? Check.
During much of my sorting time, I've been watching a TV series called "Chuck," which, if you haven't heard of it, I strongly recommend. It's the classic nerd gets stuck and falls for the pretty girl but can't quite have her plot. There's actually a lot more than that to it, but it's really awesome. I finished the entire first season today, and I started it on Monday. Whooooops. That's lots of tube time. Fortunately, my brother only owns one season.
Brain trashed? Check.
I've already read two books. Both by Nicole Baart. A bit cheesy? Yeah. Still worth it? Definitely. They even both have a sincere, redemptive theme running through them.
Summer book list started? Check.
Dang it. My posts always get way too long. Sorry to anyone reading this.
David graduated from college. I suppose that's a pretty big deal, so I spent about four days doing that. We started driving last Wednesday night, got there Thursday night. Went to Baccalaureate. Went to Commencement--heard AND saw THE LAURA BUSH give the address. That was legit. Had a picnic with his fellow AEX housing group brothers and their families. Hung out with Kim Brinkerhoff--even more awesome than standing less than twenty feet away from Mrs. Bush. Drove home. Spent two hours recharging the battery of Madame Gaga (Chris Bylsma's name for our monster of a green van) at 2 AM. Finally made it home.
Family road trip disaster number one of the summer? Check.
Finally, I've been mowing. I only mow two lawns a week, but they're both kind of ridiculously huge with lots of curves and turns and trees and shrubs to go around, so they take forever. Plus, I have to use the WeedWacker on both of them, so an hour and a half each is the minimum time commitment. Those jobs have also caused me to have my first two sunburns.
Increasing my chances of getting skin cancer? Check.
Although it may sounds like I'm busy after just typing a novel about everything I've been doing, I'm really not. I've watched an entire season of a TV show while sorting hairties. I'm bored. Fortunately, my weekend's looking a bit more exciting. Starting with...
...substitute teaching!! Woo! I substitute teach tomorrow. Basically, I go to every class with a sixth grade girl who has Austism. I'm subbing for my mom (long story). Mom shares lots and lots of stories about her job. Should be interesting, to say the least.
After that, Tulip Festival through Saturday... with Janine (and a sleepover!). and Mia. and Jordan. and other awesome Dordt people. Plus some awesome high school friends. Should be a blast. Maybe I'll finally get busy not being bored and have some time to blog. We'll see.
Finally posted again on my blog? Check.
Okay, so maybe it doesn't help when your summer job doesn't start until the second week of June, half your family is still in school, and your boyfriend is nine zillion miles away, but still. I feel like June should be halfway gone and it's barely pushing mid-May. I'm never going to get used to this college-kids-being-done-crazy-early-compared-to-the-rest-of-the-world thing.
Well, anyways. I kind of forgot all about the blogging world until I was reminded of it earlier tonight thanks to Trevor's paper-writing claim to fame. But hey, Trevor, I've already written one this summer (don't ask why), so I think we're tied now. Anyway, I've spent my summer making lots of progress and doing lots of lazy things...causing me to be way too busy being bored to blog.
I started the summer off pretty well. After the first couple days of waking up at noon and going to bed at 2, I decided to be a little more wise mature. I started waking up at 9 and going to bed at 2. I spent every waking minute cleaning and organizing and unpacking and repacking and washing and sorting and throwing and basically sorting through my entire life. The memories were great and terrible and awesome and sad all at once. It was a real emotional rollercoaster every now and then. To show for all my work, I now have the most organized room you will ever see. Every single picture I have is filed away in an album. Every single clothing item I own is hung or folded and stored away neatly (and by color!). Believe it or not, I even spent time sorting my hairties out today. Yes, sometimes I can be a little Type A when it comes to organization. In addition to the neatness, there's this massive pile of clothes and shoes and trashy/cheesy chic flicks and random objects that I'm planning on getting rid of later this summer.
Life reorganized? Check.
During much of my sorting time, I've been watching a TV series called "Chuck," which, if you haven't heard of it, I strongly recommend. It's the classic nerd gets stuck and falls for the pretty girl but can't quite have her plot. There's actually a lot more than that to it, but it's really awesome. I finished the entire first season today, and I started it on Monday. Whooooops. That's lots of tube time. Fortunately, my brother only owns one season.
Brain trashed? Check.
I've already read two books. Both by Nicole Baart. A bit cheesy? Yeah. Still worth it? Definitely. They even both have a sincere, redemptive theme running through them.
Summer book list started? Check.
Dang it. My posts always get way too long. Sorry to anyone reading this.
David graduated from college. I suppose that's a pretty big deal, so I spent about four days doing that. We started driving last Wednesday night, got there Thursday night. Went to Baccalaureate. Went to Commencement--heard AND saw THE LAURA BUSH give the address. That was legit. Had a picnic with his fellow AEX housing group brothers and their families. Hung out with Kim Brinkerhoff--even more awesome than standing less than twenty feet away from Mrs. Bush. Drove home. Spent two hours recharging the battery of Madame Gaga (Chris Bylsma's name for our monster of a green van) at 2 AM. Finally made it home.
Family road trip disaster number one of the summer? Check.
Finally, I've been mowing. I only mow two lawns a week, but they're both kind of ridiculously huge with lots of curves and turns and trees and shrubs to go around, so they take forever. Plus, I have to use the WeedWacker on both of them, so an hour and a half each is the minimum time commitment. Those jobs have also caused me to have my first two sunburns.
Increasing my chances of getting skin cancer? Check.
Although it may sounds like I'm busy after just typing a novel about everything I've been doing, I'm really not. I've watched an entire season of a TV show while sorting hairties. I'm bored. Fortunately, my weekend's looking a bit more exciting. Starting with...
...substitute teaching!! Woo! I substitute teach tomorrow. Basically, I go to every class with a sixth grade girl who has Austism. I'm subbing for my mom (long story). Mom shares lots and lots of stories about her job. Should be interesting, to say the least.
After that, Tulip Festival through Saturday... with Janine (and a sleepover!). and Mia. and Jordan. and other awesome Dordt people. Plus some awesome high school friends. Should be a blast. Maybe I'll finally get busy not being bored and have some time to blog. We'll see.
Finally posted again on my blog? Check.
Sunday, May 8, 2011
Being a PK's pretty legit.
I haven't blogged in a reallllly long time. Can you tell the end of my semester was ridiculously crazy?
Well, anyways, it was. I had 934,389,392 papers to write in the last few weeks and finished them just in time, after my computer crashed on the first day of finals, of course! At the same time, it was great. I still had time to spend with my friends in the final few weeks before summer break, and I might have even managed some pretty decent grades for the semester.
Okay, so the semester's done. Summer's begun. I'm doing nothing (except unpacking, reading, and mowing lawns) until June, so I'm pretty pumped for a relaxing few weeks. Sophomore year was great. I learn a lot. I grew a lot. I changed in more ways than one. However, I'm going to go out on a limb and not write a reflective blog about my year like the rest of the blogger population is.
Instead, this blog is about a lesson I've already learned. Lesson? I love being a pastor's daughter. I have written about my previous hatred of and rebellion towards this forced position in past blogs, but I have a couple more reasons to love it. Both reasons happened (and occurred to me) today.
Reason #1
Needless to say, I have been completely exhausted since coming home due to the crazy semester. For some strange reason, it was necessary for my family to go shopping after picking me up at Dordt. So, we left Dordt at 2 PM and shopped until 9:30 PM. Ridiculous? I think yes. Anyway, that left me even more exhausted. Because of this, I decided to take a quick nap around 4 PM today. This quick nap turned into a long nap. I dozed in and out of sleep and woke up around 7:45. Our evening church service begins at 6 PM, so I missed it. When my parents came downstairs and found me sleeping, I was informed that when I live at home, I live under their rules. One of these rules is (and always has been) that we all attend both church services unless we're out of town or so sick that we can't move. My parents weren't mad at me. They were a bit frustrated, but simply said that sleeping through church--whether accidentally or not--would not be tolerated under their roof. Two years ago, I would have yelled at them, told them "it's a freaking accident, I'm sorry I'm not perfect!"... or something along those lines. Today, I apologized...and fell back asleep (crap). As I've been thinking about what they said, I'm thankful for their strict rule. As a pastor's kid, I've rebelled against having to spend so much time at church, but today, I'm thankful for all the time. Until we're carried to glory, what better place is there to be?
Reason #2
So there's this girl at church named Emma. She's probably in second or third grade and has the loudest singing voice you've ever heard. Seriously. Even when I'm singing from the front of the sanctuary in choir, I can still hear her voice above all others. Emma has an interesting story. She has four younger siblings, and they're all blonde and arguably the most adorable siblings I've ever seen. Emma's mom is a single mother and drug addict or alcoholic of sorts, so her children were taken from her. Emma's been living with her grandparents for a couple years as a foster child. Her twin brother and sister--Dakota and Jackson--just moved in with their grandparents, too, while the other two siblings live with Emma's aunt in the same town.
Many would expect a girl coming from such a broken family to be a troublemaker. However, Emma's the most well-behaved child I've ever seen. She sits up straight and in absolute silence during church, only opening her mouth to quiet one of her siblings when they start fussing. She also PAYS ATTENTION to Dad's sermons. I'm pretty sure I didn't even pay attention until high school.
The reason I realized I love being a PK today is because of something Emma did. Emma made Dad a card. The front of the card reads, "thank you paster jansen." Once opened, it says, "Thank you for everything you have done for us. You have given us so much in our lives. I love you so much. I have never ever heard sombody so boldly preach. From: Emma." WOW. You want a story of redemption? Meet Emma, the girl with a shattered past, who might have the most perfect example of a "childlike faith." Being a PK means I see things like this... firsthand.
There you have it. Don't knock PKs. Some are rebellious. Some fake sainthood. I'm just normal. I'm broken, redeemed, and loving my life.
Well, anyways, it was. I had 934,389,392 papers to write in the last few weeks and finished them just in time, after my computer crashed on the first day of finals, of course! At the same time, it was great. I still had time to spend with my friends in the final few weeks before summer break, and I might have even managed some pretty decent grades for the semester.
Okay, so the semester's done. Summer's begun. I'm doing nothing (except unpacking, reading, and mowing lawns) until June, so I'm pretty pumped for a relaxing few weeks. Sophomore year was great. I learn a lot. I grew a lot. I changed in more ways than one. However, I'm going to go out on a limb and not write a reflective blog about my year like the rest of the blogger population is.
Instead, this blog is about a lesson I've already learned. Lesson? I love being a pastor's daughter. I have written about my previous hatred of and rebellion towards this forced position in past blogs, but I have a couple more reasons to love it. Both reasons happened (and occurred to me) today.
Reason #1
Needless to say, I have been completely exhausted since coming home due to the crazy semester. For some strange reason, it was necessary for my family to go shopping after picking me up at Dordt. So, we left Dordt at 2 PM and shopped until 9:30 PM. Ridiculous? I think yes. Anyway, that left me even more exhausted. Because of this, I decided to take a quick nap around 4 PM today. This quick nap turned into a long nap. I dozed in and out of sleep and woke up around 7:45. Our evening church service begins at 6 PM, so I missed it. When my parents came downstairs and found me sleeping, I was informed that when I live at home, I live under their rules. One of these rules is (and always has been) that we all attend both church services unless we're out of town or so sick that we can't move. My parents weren't mad at me. They were a bit frustrated, but simply said that sleeping through church--whether accidentally or not--would not be tolerated under their roof. Two years ago, I would have yelled at them, told them "it's a freaking accident, I'm sorry I'm not perfect!"... or something along those lines. Today, I apologized...and fell back asleep (crap). As I've been thinking about what they said, I'm thankful for their strict rule. As a pastor's kid, I've rebelled against having to spend so much time at church, but today, I'm thankful for all the time. Until we're carried to glory, what better place is there to be?
Reason #2
So there's this girl at church named Emma. She's probably in second or third grade and has the loudest singing voice you've ever heard. Seriously. Even when I'm singing from the front of the sanctuary in choir, I can still hear her voice above all others. Emma has an interesting story. She has four younger siblings, and they're all blonde and arguably the most adorable siblings I've ever seen. Emma's mom is a single mother and drug addict or alcoholic of sorts, so her children were taken from her. Emma's been living with her grandparents for a couple years as a foster child. Her twin brother and sister--Dakota and Jackson--just moved in with their grandparents, too, while the other two siblings live with Emma's aunt in the same town.
Many would expect a girl coming from such a broken family to be a troublemaker. However, Emma's the most well-behaved child I've ever seen. She sits up straight and in absolute silence during church, only opening her mouth to quiet one of her siblings when they start fussing. She also PAYS ATTENTION to Dad's sermons. I'm pretty sure I didn't even pay attention until high school.
The reason I realized I love being a PK today is because of something Emma did. Emma made Dad a card. The front of the card reads, "thank you paster jansen." Once opened, it says, "Thank you for everything you have done for us. You have given us so much in our lives. I love you so much. I have never ever heard sombody so boldly preach. From: Emma." WOW. You want a story of redemption? Meet Emma, the girl with a shattered past, who might have the most perfect example of a "childlike faith." Being a PK means I see things like this... firsthand.
There you have it. Don't knock PKs. Some are rebellious. Some fake sainthood. I'm just normal. I'm broken, redeemed, and loving my life.
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