Food? Not today. Just give me Jesus.

I decided to fast today. Actually, since beginning to write this post, I've now decided to fast for two days. I've never fasted before, and this was probably the most last minute decision I've made in a long time. Regardless, I decided to fast today. Here's how that happened...

I was reading the book I've blogged about a couple posts back--A Love Worth Waiting For by Max Lucado. Although I don't agree entirely with everything he writes, the premise of the book is pretty wonderful. Lucado writes each chapter on a different attribute of God that shows His perfect love for us. The first chapter was on patience, the second on His lovingkindness. I read the kindness chapter last night, and Psalm 63:3 was one verse Lucado cited that particularly stuck out to me.

"Because your steadfast love is better than life, my lips will praise you."

Incredible, right? God's love is BETTER than living. And because of this, I should be in constant, fervent praise of my Creator and Savior.

So how did this lead me to my fasting decision?

Well, the verse itself didn't. However, after finishing the chapter, I wanted to read something in my Bible to complete my evening devotions. Remembering the verse, I decided to read the entire 63rd Psalm. Here goes:

"O God, you are my God; earnestly I see you; my soul thirsts for you; my flesh faints for you, as in a dry and weary land where there is no water. So I have looked upon you in the sanctuary, beholding your power and glory. Because your steadfast love is better than life, my lips will praise you. So I will bless you as long as I live; in your name I will lift up my hands. My soul will be satisfied as with fat and rich food, and my mouth will praise you with joyful lips, when I remember you upon my bed, and meditate on you in the watches of the night; for you have been my help, and in the shadow of your wings I will sing for joy. My soul clings to you; your right hand upholds me. But those who seek to destroy my life shall go down into the depths of the earth; they shall be given over to the power of the sword; they shall be a portion for jackals. But the king shall rejoice in God; all who swear by him shall exult, for the mouths of liars will be stopped." (ESV)

Did you read all of that? If you didn't, go back.. read it again. God's words are way more valuable than anything I'll ever write.

Okay, so you're done now. Verses five and six are the ones that really influenced my decision to fast: "My soul will be satisfied as with fat and rich food, and my mouth will praise you with joyful lips, when I remember you upon my bed, and meditate on you in the watches of the night." When I read these, I literally remember my mouth to start watering. I began thinking of the Starbursts on my desk, ice cream in the freezer, potato chips on my shelf, and chocolate mousse in the fridge. I literally had to talk myself through not hopping out of bed to binge on the delicious goodness before turning in for the night.

Fortunately, I did it. I hopped out of bed and brushed my teeth instead. I have a strange obsession with brushing my teeth, but I despise using a wet toothbrush, so I knew that I wouldn't be able to brush my teeth again for at least another couple hours. The combined inability to fall asleep for the night without the fresh taste of toothpaste in my mouth and large plastic retainers in my mouth put that junk food out of my reach. 

And somewhere in the midst of winning that strange mental argument, it hit me. I was obsessed with food. If you know me at all, you've probably noticed that I eat a lot. I've always had a pretty decent metabolism, so it's not really a weight issue, which really only makes the situation worse. Sometimes I skip breakfast if I'm in a hurry (that's terrible for me, I know), but if I'm not enjoying a meal twice the size of the person's next to me, then I'm snacking on candy, chocolate, chips, crackers, etc.. You name it, I eat it. The less healthy it is, the more likely I am to gorge myself in it.

Solution: How about I fast? It was literally the first thought that popped into my head after I realized my food obsession. God warns us of the dangers of food, especially overeating/gluttony, all over the Scriptures. God says the wicked have their God as "their belly." Yep, I am pretty close to that. I've never fasted before, and honestly, I don't know much about it. But, I did know that it meant no eating, so I figured I knew how to start it.

That decision made, here I sit. I'm in the library, Bible, laptop, and water sitting in front of me. I'm starving. Really, I genuinely am in a little bit of stomach pain because I haven't eaten in over 16 hours. But you know what? Physically, I'm going to survive. The little bit of discomfort I feel for the next day and a half will be over soon. More importantly, I'm spiritually being fed and feeling alive. I've been reading over Psalm 63 and encountering other new Scriptures (to me, at least) all day long. Between classes, during class (oops!), and every other spare minute that I'm not blogging about it. I'm loving it.

Tomorrow I'll blog a little bit more about my decision, including why I decided to switch from one to two days of fasting. Also, I'm really excited to see what God will continue teaching me in this next day dedicated to replacing my God of food with my one, true, God full of lovingkindness. Be sure you come back to read more! :)