I won the match.

Life just keeps getting even more darn complicated.

Sure, it seems like it's finally settling down, figuring itself out, and all that good stuff. Some beautiful friendships of mine keep deepening like I'd never imagined. I'm a CDA next year (this helps support the financial side of college pretty well). God's blessed me with a pretty awesome boyfriend. I'm 99.99999 percent sure about my major. I finally almost, sort of, kind of, maybe have a summer job. I've got a few legit post-graduation options in mind. Life is good.

But there's still the other side of things. My life's good, but so many people don't have it as good. So many people are starving. So many people can't read. So many people are dying from AIDS-related causes. So many people don't have clean water. So many people can't even afford an education. So many, many people need Jesus. SO many people simply are IN NEED. And with those needs, I'm only thinking of and addressing developing countries. Our good ol' United States is in pretty bad shape, too.

Today, I read that on any given Sunday in an African country such as Uganda, Kenya, or Nigeria, more Africans are attending church in that one country alone than in the entire United States combined. What. the. heck? Here I was, thinking America was some religious capital of the world, when really, Africa's kicking our butt. Okay, actually, I realized my country has been going down the tubes since forever ago, but seriously, I was pretty surprised at that fact I read about church-going Americans.

So here's my question...
Why do we send so many missionaries to Africa? I mean, if Africa is really so religious and America is sucking, why not send a bunch of those missionaries around our own country?

That being said, if you know me at all, you also know that I am hoping to student teach in Africa, want to spend at least a portion of my life teaching or serving in some mission-related way overseas, and constantly dream of meeting Katie Davis someday. So, from the perspective of someone interested in being one of those missionaries to Africa from the United States, why don't we keep our missionaries here?

I've wrestled with this question numerous times. Perhaps it's because I've seen the damage short-term missions can do. Maybe it's because I also see the help I've done on short-term service projects. But maybe (probably) it's because God's trying to make me discover the purpose for my big dreams. Maybe, just maybe (most likely), God's asking, "Hey, Kristin, so you want to serve me...awesome... but you're sure it's not just because Katie Davis has an awesome heart and 14 adorable children and is famous?" And for sure, it's because God's a fan of this wrestling thing. He's got this awesome plan for my life, and He's going to make sure I know how and why I'm going to be doing what I'm doing for His glory.

And after wrestling, this is what I've concluded: I've failed, yet again. I've spent months wrestling over that question, and I never once looked for God's words on the matter. Sure, I've prayed about it, but He definitely didn't come down out of the clouds, stand next to my bed, and say, "This is why missionaries should go to Africa..." The good news is He doesn't need to. He already answered my question, over and over and over and over again in His Word. Google "Bible verses on missions" and you've got enough reading to last you the rest of the night. Everywhere you turn, it says "Declare His glory among the nations!" (1 Chronicles 16:23), or something pretty similar to that. Heck, the Great Commission uses the words "all nations." I'm pretty sure the United States is not "all nations."

So yep, go proclaim God's love anywhere and everywhere. Stay in Iowa. Move across the country. Leave your entire life behind and move to Africa. Paraphrasing the words of Kevin DeYoung, a pastor and author I'm a huge fan of, "Live for God, obey the Scriptures, think of others above yourself, be holy, and love Jesus. This is what it means to be walking in the will of God."

"Well shoot" was originally the name of this post, pointing to my frustration with my almost-figured-out-but-not-quite-yet life, but I changed it to reflect what I've learned from simply typing this blog while searching the Scriptures. "I won the match." I wrestled, was losing by points, almost pinned, and had but a few seconds before the final buzzer would sound. When I opened the Bible, God picked that question up, threw it on the ground, and pinned it just in time for the referee to slap the mat and the crowd to jump up and cheer as I sat back and tried to figure out how in the world I'd wasted so much time avoiding God's direct answers.

As usual, lesson learned? The Bible's pretty legit. I definitely need to spend more time in it.