Unanswered questions? Okay!

In chapel this past week, we talked about service. Pastor Baart mentioned that there are endless opportunities for service anywhere in the world because of all the hurt and sin in the world. This truth has been something I have been struggling with quite a bit lately. In fact, I even blogged about it a couple blogs ago. I became excited, thinking Pastor Baart was going to address the decision-making aspect of service: How do you decide WHERE God wants you to serve? After being convicted by all the needs I have seen in Nicaragua and a few of my courses, I have really been struggling trying to decide where God could use my gifts best. I sat back, ready to finally have my question answered from a biblical perspective.

Unfortunately, Pastor Baart switched gears completely and said that many individuals get to this point and begin to worry about themselves. "I have needs, too," is a common excuse you may hear people try to use to get out of serving the needs of others. He also said that the worst day on Dordt's campus would be the day when everyone put their self-interests above everyone else. Service begins with having a servant heart--a heart that puts others first.

Now don't get me wrong, this lesson is definitely an important one to understand. And sure, I was convicted of my need to continue working on putting others first...always. However, I find it pretty ironic that I was slightly miffed that the chapel message didn't go in the direction I wanted it to. After thinking about my reaction to Pastor Baart choosing a different direction for his message, I shudder at the close ties of my response to Pastor Baart's message. I wanted to get something out of the message. I wanted it to address what I wanted to hear. I wanted it to answer my questions. When it didn't, my selfish, sinful drive kicked it, and I was frustrated.

Chapel lesson learned: All questions don't have instant answers.

Oh boy, this lesson is a tough one, especially for me, the loser of every patience test I have ever experienced. However, another point of irony is that realizing all questions don't have answers helped me answer one of my questions. The lesson has been on my mind for the last couple days because of the amount of mystery and unknown surrounding my own future.

And yet, through the confusion and unanswered questions, I have realized a few things. Maybe, just maybe, God's not going to make it loudly obvious where He wants me to serve. Maybe, just maybe, God's not going to throw the geographical coordinates of an area in need on the side of a blimp and fly it over my head every day. Maybe, just maybe, God's not even going to send me to my life-long mission destination the first time. In fact, maybe I won't even have one long-term home to serve from. Maybe, just maybe, I'll move around often... serving diverse needs wherever I go. Yes, God's going to use me to serve His kingdom and people. But as of now, I don't have a clue where that will be. Finally, for the first time in my life, I think I can honestly say I'm completely content with that.